So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Randomize
