the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
