guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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