So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
