"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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