oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
