There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
