she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
