Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
