Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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