apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
3pm strippers are depressing
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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