i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
