Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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