yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
