Jerry, you need to find god
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The beer is more important than you right now.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
