Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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