I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just tell him i said nine months
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We need to get me chipped asap
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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