I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize