I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize