Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
