I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize