When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize