is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
