The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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