Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
