just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
