WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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