I just saw a hot homeless man
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
