I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
