GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
