# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
