Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
