That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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