god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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