That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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