I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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