dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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