Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
