I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
