New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
