we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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