So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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