hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
