I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm always down for nudity.
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