drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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