you would pick up someone in the library
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
