I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
