OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
