how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
