Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Is Oprah even human
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
