I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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