He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
