What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Blood and glitter go together right?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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