i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
