Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
