so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
operation harelip BJ is a go
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
