Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
