I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
